The past 7-14 days have been absolutely hectic. The universe has completely changed my entire life. I am now living in a different place, without the kids, and divorced. I am applying to jobs in another city, I have been sick, and I have fought with people over what I believe in more than I have in months. We will get into all of that, though, if you stick around!
Also, I got a hat! Woah!
The Big Move
The first thing I want to cover is my move. I touched on it lightly in a Facebook post, but a lot of my family and friends have questions about it. This seems like the easiest place to explain.
I moved in with Tiffany Jarrett in Craigsville for the time being. It's still so new that I had to add "Craigsville" to my dictionary on Google Chrome. I am so blessed and thankful that she and her grandma allowed me to do this. They are an amazing part of my family, and I am so happy to have them.
Ultimately, the decision for me to move was made when John expressed his desire to keep the house we slightly renovated in Richwood once I moved (my plan has been to move since the beginning). I figured, "Why not move in with Tiff now and save money? I can just move a few months earlier." That's what we decided to do! It has definitely helped in ways we didn't know it would, which includes him needing money for a new vehicle and this saved us roughly 200+ dollars every month.
Also, I think I needed this change. I wanted to have a life that was new, and I wanted a break from the same old thing. I have picked up a part time job in Richwood for now, and I wanted to focus on work, my blog, and me. I wanted to help with the kids whenever they needed me, but I wanted to ultimately be just me for a little while.
Tiff and I renovated my room at her house. It was frustrating, funny, and a long process. It looks great, though! I am so happy with it, and every time I relax in my room I am fully at ease. I love what I am surrounded with, and I can think clearly again.
The Divorce
I won't talk too much on this since I did a whole blog dedicated to it, and I am honestly over talking about it. John and I FINALLY finalized our divorce last week. It was a weight lifted, and I am glad it's done so I can move on in new relationships, a new life, etc. I don't have the weight of someone else on my daily life. I am truly joyous.
The Argument
If you have been following my journey from day one, you know that I have tried my best to be absolutely civil and happy with John in this process. I wanted to keep a friendship, and I have in the end. However, this past week things did shift between us.
Last week, John informed me he was bringing a girl he had dated for about 2 days to the house where the kids were still at this point (more on that in a bit).
I was, as a mother, livid. I know that my situation is unconventional, but I had spent months as a single parent struggling and to me this seemed like a spit in the face. I felt disrespected.
All those times I had skipped church for a ball game, paid for something for them as a gift and ignoring what I needed, or whatever else we sacrifice as parents came flashing through my mind. I remembered that I was doing this on my own, and John just now came back into the picture. Don't get me wrong, he worked and paid bills, but he stayed away. He was not present. It killed me that it felt like he was coming in and introducing a brand new woman to the kids. It just didn't feel right to me.
We had a huge argument, and I will spare the details. I will not bash anyone on this blog, and I will hold myself to that promise. In the end, I felt disrespected and shocked. I had never felt like that coming from John, but we are different now. The friendship changed into something different now, and that's fine, too. We can keep each other at an arm's distance for life, and I will be happy. I believe he feels the same way.
The Kids
This is honestly the reason I am even taking time to write this blog. I keep getting questions, posts, etc. about the kids. I don't mind it at all, either, so please don't get me wrong! I just realized that a lot of people do not know what is going on, and I have a large following on Facebook so I would like to clear the air.
Apparently, the organization we hosted the kids through didn't realize the kids were living with just one parent. When I posted that I had moved, I was asked about the situation and explained that the kids live with just John now. The organization informed us they must have natural parent's permission for the children to live with just one person.
Our kids explained their parents knew and did not care, but they were still pulled from our home and are being placed in a new home. They are doing ok and so are we. It's just a weird adjustment. Even living at Tiff's, I still spoke to them almost daily and made plans with them. So, it's weird to see a change in the situation. I am just very happy that they are still in the states and are having a good life. I also heard from them who might host them, and I am very happy about that as well. I can't wait to see them at all their upcoming school events.
The Sickness
For the sake of my own baby-ish ways, I want to say I have been so sick. I don't know how you wouldn't know that from my Facebook, though. Not only have I talked about it constantly, but so many people have checked to see how I am feeling. I am overwhelmingly blessed!
Gastritis was new to me, too, so I am learning what it means or how it happens. The overwhelming guess is I drank too much Friday night and it inflamed my stomach lining. I had felt sick before drinking, but the drinking probably made it worse. Stupid divorce celebration.
I am feeling a little better today, but still cramping and sick to my stomach. Hopefully only a day or so more before I feel 100% again. We will see!
The Future
Here's the fun part! I get to talk about my various plans for my future right here with you!
That's the edge-of-the-cliff, hush-hush topic in a divorce: What is she going to do now? It's terrifying at first to think of your future in singularity. I have never been just myself with no one else to worry about. I wasn't sure what to do or where to go, but in time I figured out what I wanted and where my heart was leading me in life.
Some women choose a life under the radar, which is totally fine! They have roots and they cling to them in the town they're accustomed to. Good for them!
I am not that type of woman. Halsey has a song called "Hurricane" that says, "Don't belong to no city; don't belong to no man." I have always had this mentality of not settling down. I want to go, and I want to go NOW. When I get an idea, I am ready to do it at the exact moment it manifests.
So, I have started applying to jobs in Charleston, WV area. I plan to live that way, and while I get on my feet I will stay with my aunt and uncle. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I am thankful to say the least. So far, I haven't gotten a call back from any applications, but it will happen in time. I am here working the job I have until then, and who knows what my future holds. Only time can tell!
Thanks for the love and support, and thank you all for reading! I hope your Tuesday is amazing, even if I didn't do a Tuesday's Trending this week.. *lol*
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